It's hard to admit that we need someone. Well, at least, that's been hard for me. Needing someone shows a level of vulnerability that I was not willing to accept for myself until recently.
On my quest to study empathy, I encountered a book entitled The Empathic Civilization by Jeremy Rifkin. While the focus of the book is, indeed, empathy, it outlines several other human needs and components of human nature, in an effort to help readers understand how we, as a human race, are entering the Age of Empathy--one where we learn to connect with each other and appreciate diversity.
Aside from the fact that our world culture is inevitably headed towards this age of empathy, this book makes it apparent that we are hardwired to empathize--that there are biological components within the fibrous parts of ourselves that allow us to connect and empathize with others. In fact, we, as humans, are required to empathize with others in order to survive. We need to connect with others, and this is present from birth.
The first example of this comes from the early 1900s. At this time, orphanages were filled with infants, for a variety of reasons, and the methods through which these infants were cared for was ones of isolation. Diseases were rampant in this time period, and the last thing orphanages wanted to do was pass disease through bodily contact. In order to take a proactive approach to this perceived problem, nurses were asked not to touch the babies, and when feeding or caring for them, to use sterile tools that would prohibit physical contact. The end result was catastrophic, resulting in death rates as high as 70% (Rifkin). It seemed that the babies were emotionally starved to death, and as soon as these orphanages changed their policies, the infants blossomed. All they needed was love and physical affection. Moreover, they needed someone to understand that.
Further, Harry Harlow's study exemplifies this idea of needing others for survival, as well. In his experiment, he placed baby monkeys in a room with two decoy mothers. The first mother was made to feel like a real mother would--constructed with fabric and a heater to mimic the feeling of another body. The second mother, on the other hand, was constructed of wire, with the absence of heat. Both mothers, however, had the potential to provide milk to the young monkeys. As one might expect, the monkeys preferred the mother that provided warmth and comfort, the fabric mother. However, at one point, the scientists decided to have the fabric mother stop providing milk. While the wire mother was within a reasonable distance, providing the same sustenance the first mother did, the monkeys remained near the fabric mother for warmth and comfort, implying that these monkeys needed the affection of a mother figure over sustenance itself (Rifkin). In fact, the monkeys craved this closeness and affection to the point where they neglected their nutritional needs to the point of starvation.
Finally, this can be proven rather intuitively. I've said this in many posts, but I truly believe and can prove that we are nothing more than the culmination of our previous experiences. And those previous experiences are typically shaped by the people with whom we've grown. Up until recently, I have somewhat resented the fact that the current version of myself had been dependent on others, and for quite some time, I was doing pretty much everything I could to prove to myself that I did not need others.
Perhaps "I need you" is hard to say because it carries such a heavy connotation, similar to "dependence." However, I've identified now that it is perfectly acceptable and even expected to need others, to lean on our friends and family.
This does not, however, make it easier to say.