Imagine this:
A family is driving down the street, on the way home from a summer picnic and baseball game. The kids begin singing in the backseat, joyfully belting a rendition of "Row, row, row your boat" in canon. The mother is hesitant to join in, but eventually she does, adding another layer to the family song. Finally, the father joins in as well, making this beautiful song now a family affair. They look at each other with smiles, enjoying each other's company and reveling in the small moment they are experiencing together.
The family continues driving, turns the corner, and...
Now you finish the story. What do you think happens?
Admittedly, I cannot take credit for discovering this story. I have to give the credit to, yet, another one of the wonderful people that I am happy to surround myself with. But this blog is meant to be a documentation of the experiences that have made me who I am. I am nothing more than the culmination of preceding experiences, most of which are dependent upon the interactions I've had with others. As much as I hate to say that my existence is dependent upon other people, it really is.
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Anyway, when most adults finish this story, an overwhelming number of them envision some sort of tragedy occurring when they turn the corner. Why is this? It is because we, as adults, imagine the worst case scenario a great deal of the time. Instead of simply assuming that the family goes home, enjoys a wonderful home-cooked meal, and finishes the evening with a funny movie, we assume that they get into a deadly car crash or their vehicle spontaneously combusts.
When I heard this story yesterday and my friend revealed the details of this study to me, I could not help but feel tears begin to well up behind my eyes. I think the source of all of this emotion came from the fact that I saw a great deal of this study in me.
I wouldn't say I am a negative person, per se, but I am cautious, a bit paranoid, and as my friend says, I sometimes forebode joy. In fact, many of us are guilty of this. By assuming the family turns the corner and meets their doom, we are foreboding a sense of joy for the family and for ourselves. We fear feeling such great joy, because it could potentially be taken away from us, as for so many of us, it has at moments.
Regrettably, I've been that person who has been unhappy for happy people, looked away in fear of falling in love, or prohibited myself from accepting a compliment. I've been the person who has assumed that it will not work out in my favor, that acts of kindness are motivated by selfish incentives, and that disappointment is almost as absolute as absolutism itself.
But that's all because of me. Because I was foreboding joy and love, and welcoming shame and self-pity.
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