I just got off the phone with my grandparents, and when the phone rang, immediately adrenaline ran through my veins. They don't call often, and I thought something had happened. Grandpa has been sick, very sick, and some days, I feel like I'm waiting for the next piece of bad news.
Of course, I did not tell them about my recent quarter-life crisis. And there are several reasons for that. First of all, they have enough problems to deal with, and the last thing I wanted to do was increase the amount of worry in their lives. Grandma was always a worrier. We'd step the wrong way or be outside playing too late, and she'd poke her head out wide-eyed or shriek with exasperation at the mere thought of one of us getting hurt. Moreover, I'm embarrassed. Here I was, committing myself to an unconventional relationship--one that has failed, nonetheless. For whatever reason, it has been hard for me to own that failure and attribute it to the fact that there just might be something wrong with me or what I did.
I especially did not want to tell two people that have, in my eyes, one of the most romantic love stories ever. Dating at 14, married at 17, parents to two daughters by 22, grandparents to 4 by the age of 52, and committed partners for over 55 years.
My grandpa was on the other end of the phone when I picked up, sounding tired but optimistic. And the first thing he uttered was, "Hi, Paul. I'm so sorry to hear about your break up."
When I first told my grandpa I was gay, it was not easy. While the problem quickly fixed itself, he had trouble accepting the fact that I was gay, once even refusing to meet my partner. Soon enough, he found a way to understand, because he loved me, and I love him for that. And there he was, probably lying in his chair, feeling terrible, but selflessly feeling remorseful for me--not himself.
I am so lucky to have two such wonderful people in my life, that love me, accept me, and would not have me any other way. So lucky.
My grandpa was on the other end of the phone when I picked up, sounding tired but optimistic. And the first thing he uttered was, "Hi, Paul. I'm so sorry to hear about your break up."